Poetry: He's still your Son

                                                    He's still your Son







Papa has not talked to us, not to him at least
angry you say 
silent treatments, reverse psychology?
i heard him sobbing last night
my first time listening to his tears 
excruciating. 

i sang with my tears too, with him, worried sleep
he stayed home, i had to work, nursing hurting beds never was easy; yet, a catharsis 
sometimes
my mind goes to war. heavy, perhaps i should not have
have said it.
emotional turmoils were foreseen. but i did look at the brightest light through this darkness

isn't that how i am supposed to look at life mama? 
perhaps you should tell papa too and use your own advice. 
read somewhere, adults are just like children too
ironic isn't; humans aren't we, after all.
please don't blame yourself papa
did you know you were a sporting dad? 

our friends, teachers at school, they adore you 
seeing you every day at the school canteen, food in your hand
little brother and i longed for the recess bell, would it be nasi lemak today? 
no, kuih seri muka! my favourite. “i wish I had a papa like yours”
you knew papa.
stories you would share, your victorious young days

national hockey player, stunner in the football field
right midfielder, center back 
my oh my, those medals and trophies, perched majestically on the shelves, i see you
brown jersey, on the wall, you had a long moustache, thick. patrimony.
papa

did you know i wanted to be just like you, good in some sports
run, jump, swing, pull, i joined them all, at school 
was once in school's athletic team, your daughter 
nothing much was said. frowns
you turned to little brother, "and you?" 
he showed you his painted nails 
he was scared, judgements, 'why am i not like you?'
a son to uphold your honour, yes, he did papa, didn't you see. 

amidst the ache, through the years, the school's top scorer.
debator, president for clubs- singing, dancing in glitter; and now,

a doctor, inspiring writer; unique from birth- your legacy, in his creation, that's all.





By Jessica John Poskođź’—




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