Poetry: Tainted Footprints

Tainted Footprints

i was standing at the tip of the stairway
on the tenth floor, of my old yet humble abode
the highest those cement could ever withstand
the bus stop opposite the street was packed
tiny people pushing trolleys of groceries, little children in their blue uniforms
teasing each other
as they walk home after school
the gentle monsoon breeze of June
blew through the withering trees, and tall scrapers
whispering don't do it
shutting them tight,
i squeezed the flood of tears piled up around the frames of my eyes
somehow hoping
the wind might wash away the taste of your fingers;
blow away the smell of your lips; bringing along with it these fondled memories
i showered, the sixth time today,  yet i can still smell you
so dirty, these untrimmed nails aren't long enough,
to reach to the depths of your touch you left on me, it's still there,
in my flesh, in my meat you ate, on my fruits of my chest you caressed; unconsented
and in my soul you tore, bare to my feeble bones


this isn't the home i was born with
it feels different now, and you were the uninvited guest, never welcomed, broke through the windows
like thieves in broad daylight, robbed off my chastity, sipped dry of my rich nectar
plucked my petals of its stem, mercilessly, leaving the cup of my existence empty

enough

my questions are left unaswered, still, and i found no closure through this insufferable ache
i can't bear living with these stained footprints,
marked dark charcoal black; permanent,
it's better to shuffle off this mortal coil
into the wilderness of my subconcious, no expectations
forgive me mother, i have tainted your womb,
with shame and dishonor
it's only right for me to go now
in case you ever thought of me, please do my spirit a favor
ask him why did he do what he did
till my *rooh meets yours
farewell


By Jessica John Posko💗 J.J. Posko
Insta: @poetrychips

Definitions:
*rooh - means Soul, Spirit or Conscience. its origin in Arabic, Persian, Urdu and Punjabi. 
Pronunciation in Punjabi is such that it is pronounced as Roo.