Short Story: Bittersweet Innocent Love

                                                              Hate that I want you

               “I really like you”. She was drunk or maybe that’s what she wanted Darlene and Cammy think. Kelso was there too. Stunned, sitting there with his glowy eyes, charming face and speechless of course. See, Jaime, Darlene, Cammy and Kelso go way back. They first met when they were just in kindergarten. Funny to say that the kindergarten they grew up in and found their new friendship is now turned into a house, with no evidence that a kindergarten ever existed in that place. Every time Jaime passes by that place on the way to her house, the memories were still there. Those were the preciously unforgettable memories of childhood that neither any of them would ever forget. Growing up around the same people, the same neighbourhood and wonderfully lighted candy shops had never been tedious. They found happiness in every simple things. 

    It’s 10 o’clock on a Friday night and Jaime was just back from a long gruelling shift at the OR. Two glossectomies and a mandibulectomy had been draining. She had her shower, got into her shorts and tee and just got herself a cup of warm cup of milk her mom made her, sitting on the old chair staring blankly across the other side of the 6^th floor flat. Sipping on her warm turmeric and spiced milk, it reminded her of all the good times in primary school as her mother used to make her fresh cup of turmeric milk everyday for her after school.

Of course there were good and bad times at school, countless pranks, competing who got first in class, flirting around juniors and seniors and more of that stuff. They were all good kids though. Ironic as it may sound, they never saw each other as more than friends. In fact, it was different back then. The girls didn’t mingle around with boys much. It was the final day of primary school and they had all gotten their final UPSRs results. Well, some scored tremendously well with straight A’s, some did pretty well with at least 2 or 3 A’s. Those who thought they would barely come close to pass were contented they pulled through. They were all gathered in the school hall and sat down accordingly to their own class as the principal read out loud on which secondary school will every student head to next year. Jaime, Darlene and Cammy all prayed to get into the same school. So did Kelso and everyone else.

    5 years later, Cammy and Kelso graduated from SMK Seri Murni, Darlene graduated from SMK Saujana and Jaime graduated from SMK Ananas. Things were different after that and life happened. Darlene’s parents got a divorce, Cammy got engaged to her high school lover and Kelso got a girlfriend. Jaime on the other hand, flew to Singapore, did her 3 year diploma in pharmaceutics at the Nanyang Polytechnic and worked as a pharmacist at the general hospital over there. They had manage to  catch up once or twice, unfortunately Kelso wasn’t there. But it wasn’t after Jaime was done with her 2 year part time degree in pharmacy did she realise that it has been too long since they’ve really got together, sat and just talked. On February the 10th 2017, just after a week turning 24, Jaime bought a ticket to Selangor. The girls planned that they  should have a small gathering with the other girls and boys. 

       They chatted over 2 towers of Carlsberg. Mind you, that was literally the first time Jaime had ever tasted beer inn her life. It was awful, but she kept it cool enjoying the time with the gang catching up on old stories. As they chatted away, Jaime noticed a tall figure walking towards their table but she couldn’t quite recognize who. As the person walked closer, there they were. Those glowy eyes, that charming smile, well, in short, a tall handsome young man stood and it was Kelso. They played ‘have you ever’ over beer and it was going great. All of us as were amazed on how much secrets were kept hid all this while. It was a shock that Aaron randomly kissed a girl at a restaurant over a bet and almost watched porn. It was a hilllarious night and everyone had fun they met that night. It was 30 minutes past 1 in the morning and everyone were tipsy. Jaime parents’ called almost 4 times asking her to be back home by 2. Kelso offered Jaime a ride back home since they stayed just 2 streets away. It wasn’t in the car ride that Jaime realised a lot has changed.

        Kelso isn’t that guy that she used to know. He was respectful, polite, thoughtful, smart and a fun guy to be around with. Just like that, as they talked in the car, she knew at that moment, he was the one for her. As they were reaching Jaime’s house, Kelso asked “you wanna hangout by the lake near your house?” and Jaime immediately responded “yeah sure, why not, its been a long time”. But after a while he went, “oh its okay, I think its getting late, I should probably send you home”. Jaime thought to herself, why did he have that sudden change of mind? She brushed it off and Kelso pulled over her house she hugged Kelso said their goodbye’s although she really wished they had gone to the lake and she walked into her house. Kelso waited in his car until she went in and locked the doors, waved and drove off. Never in a million years did Jaime knew that this was going to be the start of a heart-breaking one sided love that is never going to happen. 

     Since that day, all that Jaime was thinking about was him going how she had missed a guy like

him in her life. She imagined things that could have been if they were together, went to the same secondary school and growing up and stuff. But the only question here is does he feel the same way about her too?

      It was April 2017 and the girls planned for a staycation at a hotel where Aaron worked at since they could get a discount. It was just meant to be like a small gathering, just Darlene, Cammy and Jaime.  No one else was invited. After having some shisha over dinner, the girls headed back to their hotel. The girls changed into their comfortable jammies, chilling and relaxing with some Monkey Shoulder that Jaime bought at the airport. Suddenly, just suddenly, Cammy received a text and she asked if the girls were okay with Kelso coming over to join for some drinks tonight at the hotel. Well, technically, Cammy, Kelso and his so called girlfriend of 8 years had a group chat of their own since secondary school and so they’re rather close to each other than Jaime and Darlene. Cammy posted some of the drinks Jaime bought for that night and Kelso replied back with a photo of Baileys in his hands saying that he would like to drop by at the hotel tonight. Now, the girls do know that its okay for Kelso to come over in the middle of the night to their hotel room, after all its Kelso our childhood friend but others would look at it in a wrong way. So, they promised each other not to tell anyone that Kelso hung out with us that night, not even Aaron. They played Twisters and drank shots having a good time. Suddenly, Jaime blurted out “Kelso, I really like you”. And there was this awkward silence in the room where everyone just stared at Jaime, and Kelso had this look on his face between a “I knew it” look and “omg, really” look. Jaime wasn’t really sure how to describe that look though but boy was she glad to say it out loud to him, thinking, ‘at least he knows now’.  Cammy understood Jaime’s good intention. 

After a really weird moment, Darlene said “Oh don’t take it personally Kelso, she’s just drunk” but deep down Cammy and Darlene both know that Jaime really liked Kelso but they know it’s wrong as Kelso already have a girlfriend and they’ve been together almost 8 years now. On the other hand, Jaime wanted to know real bad if Kelso was feeling the same way too but the girls quickly changed the topic into something else and somehow chatted the night about Cammy’s soon to be wedding. Truth is, Cammy wasn’t at all ready to get married just yet but the expected Indian family drama of the elders in the family and their persuasion gave Cammy no choice. After all, she’s only 24 and her whole life is ahead of her and the last thing in her mind would be to get married now. Things got heated up as Jaime argued how it wasn’t too late to postpone the wedding but they both hugged it out in the end with Jaime saying “I only want what’s best for you and I didn’t meant to make you upset”.

        It was close to 4 in the morning, and Kelso decided that its time to leave as they planned to have a trip to Adventure Park with the gang the next morning. Cammy told Jaime to go to sleep as she was so drunk, tucked her into bed and Jaime waved goodbye to Kelso and the girl closed the door accompanied Kelso to this car. The room was so quiet and though Jaime was terribly drunk, all she thought was “at least I’ve said what I felt” and went to sleep hoping things will turn out fine. 

     There were loud thuds and One Direction was playing loud. Jaime got up and saw Darlene putting on her favourite lipstick and Cammy was still in her towel.   Jaime was silent and quietly walked into the bathroom to get ready. The girls got ready and checked out of the hotel, got in the car and made their way to McDonalds for breakfast. Cammy was busy updating the rest of the gang in the group. 

The headache was horrible and Jaime wondered how she’s going to pull through the day at Adventure Park. The girls were weirdly quiet though and this made Jaime suspicious. It must be something that happened last night. “What happened last night? Did I behave?” Jaime asked. There were no reply. “Dar, tell me I did something happened”. Darlene was applying on her eyeliner in front of the mirror and staring right back at Jaime she said “You told Kelso you liked him. Now stop wasting time and go get ready”.

     When the girls reached there, Kelso and Aaron were already there, having their breakfast. As their walking to the table, Darlene whispered to Jaime, “Jay, don’t you dare open your mouth about last night and pretend it never happened and lets have a good time alright”. Jaime nodded and they sat down. Darlene and Cammy were at the counter placing their orders and Jaime was sitting there at the table, trying hard not to look at Kelso. “Slept well last night?” Kelso asked with his cynical smile. Jaime just smiled and nodded thinking “He must think I’m a fool acting like that last night. Wonder what’s he thinking right now”. Jaime could feel that Kelso was staring her as she sipped her coffee but she maintained cool and tried to focus on getting done with her Big Meal.  They had their breakfast together and drove to Adventure Park. 

       There were various outdoor activities over there at Adventure Park. From 5 metres diving, rock climbing, rafting, swimming, mega Jenga, flying Fox to abseiling. They decided to try on rafting as they had never done it before. So they headed towards the lake and put on life jackets. Jaime looked terrified. She’s the only one in the gang who doesn’t know how to swim. Darlene said “don’t worry, just hang on to the ropes at the sides of the lake. You won’t drown with your life jacket on”. The boys hoped onto the raft and so did the girls.

They were all excited and jokingly hoped not to let the raft overturn and fall into the water. Kelso was standing on the raft, rowing it from the front singing “row row row your raft, gently down the stream…” and everyone sang along. Aaron who sat at the back tried to stand up trying to maintain his balance as the whole gang yelled at him to stay put. As expected, the whole raft overturned as he got his buttocks up and everyone fell into the water. They laughed so hard till Sarene swallowed some lake water! Everyone was just swimming around having a good time. Aaron was being annoying as usual trying to prank the girls into standing up onto the raft.

            Jaime on the other hand, was just floating on the water just staring at the blue sky above, while her hands held tightly onto the raft ropes at the sides. As she was floating, Kelso came nearer and floated next to her. Jaime felt the awkwardness and stopped floating and so did Kelso. Both were just there, side by side, quiet, watching the others. Unable to stand the awkward silence, Jaime started the conversation. “Heard the last time you boys went swimming, Robin almost drowned” Kelso replied “yeah, those dumbasses, he almost killed himself drowning but it was a fun time at Langkawi” Jaime just giggled. “You can’t swim?” Kelso asked. “Nope, always wanted to learn though”. Kelso said “well, I can help you it’s easy. Just lay there floating and I’ll show you how to”. Jaime tried to put her head in the water but she can’t. She hate putting her head underwater since that day she got a terrible ear infection and had to go under the knife for it. “I can’t”yelled Jaime. “Okay then, just hold my hand and I’ll bring you to the base” As they swam, Kelso said, “Jaime, I have to tell you something” Jaime looked pale and her heart skipped fast. She was prepared for whatever he was going to say and played all the responses that he could say over and over again in her head. “You’re a nice girl, always have been since kindergarten.
I wish we could have been together before I met Tara, but it’s too late. You know I love her and she’s the one for me. You’ll find yours soon, but it’s just not me” Kelso said with his low toned voice. Jaime tried to control tears from welling up in her eyes but they just rolled down like rain. Besides, who would ever notice since they’re in the waters anyways. “I understand. I shouldn’t have said that to you last night. Sorry for everything”she said. Kelso just smiled.

   

           Sitting at her front porch, with a warm cup of turmeric milk, Jaime thought about that smile as she stared into the blue skies. Her partner Raymond was in the kitchen making some breakfast. Years have passed since they’ve last met and till this day, Jaime knew that although Kelso was a  It’s just a moment in time and when one door closes, the other opens. 😊

long lost love, he will always be there for her, as a friend. Walking into the kitchen, she just leaned towards the wall just watching Raymond singing out loud Elvis Presley’s Burning Love as he stirred the scrambled eggs. She knew that deep inside, she had indeed found her one true love.

By

JESSICA JOHN POSKO

19th February 2018