Poetry: Dear G

                                          LOST STARS


Hi there,

It's me,
That girl on the internet you had met,
I hope you didn't forget,
all the fun and memories we had,
and the amazing times we shared,
are they all coming back to you yet?

Wished we hadn't met,

If only I had known how this would be lead,

down a path of broken heart and seas of tears shed,

no love that is rightfully deserved or needed to get,

Yet, do you even cared?

I remember that day, you said those three beautiful words,

my heart skipped a beat and it's you I heard,

I longed so much to reply them back to you but feared,

was it really love you felt or was it just mere words,

Luckily, I was right,

When you told me it didn't mean anything that one fateful night,

Bet you didn't hear how my heart cried,

Since you were blinded by your own thoughts and mine swept aside,

It hurt, so very much as deep as the oceans bide,

I tried so hard not to wet my eye,

but then I realised I cried enough as the tears all dry,

and there's nothing left to say to you but ask why

I saw you,

Not the slightest remorse or guilt on that face,

Not even a "sorry for hurting you" in place, 

For a second I thought how could a human be so stone cold in this mad world race,

But I guessed it was just my fault for longing onto your invisible embrace,

You have no idea,

of how you were the best thing that ever happened to me,

or how happy we could be,

because in my mind you're all I see,

but to you I'm nothing but another 'she'

I guess you're just confused,

between love and feeling used,

You said you've seen how relationships fail and marriages are abused, 

but in the end aren't we all just bruised?,

life is about learning to grow and not an excuse,

because it is love that I long to give you that you refuse

Am I not enough,

holding on to you just trying to stay tough,

when in the end it's all just a bluff,

where I can do nothing but laugh,

at my innocence and hope all crushed

I really can't stop these tears from coming every night when I'm all alone,
or when I'm walking past the streets we used to walk under the moonlight now just another sad tone,
thinking about the memories and moments we made that you had already thrown,
tattooed onto my heart, Oh , I should have known,
that you had a heart too but it was just cold, cold stone,
bare and dry from your flesh to your very bone,
I lost a part of me when you were gone,
But I still smiled and laughed with you without letting it be shown,
because I know that life is too short for regrets and time is something we don't own,


Words can't describe this pain I feel,
trying to hide these wounds that would never heal,

maybe time will make it easier to hide and conceal,
but I do know I'll never forget you, it just stays still

I saw you in my dream,
a little shady, a bit dim,
remembered I was crying and you were leaving it seemed,
I was pleading for you not to leave wondered what it mean,
wished our love was made for movie screen,

I sang to you that day,
Letting everything go, trying to hide the pain away,
you suprised me with a glass of wine while I'm on stage, on a Monday,
Oh, and a bouquet of flowers with a beautiful bright sunflower in the middle you handed me right at the bar's doorway,
didn't see that coming and if I could, I'd definitely replay,
you wore a batik printed tee looking handsomest in your own unique way,
sculpting the memory of you on that chair across the table like clay,
all I could ever do that night was just pray,
that, that night would forever stay,
I always will remember us this way


You were there for me when I needed you,
I think I've told you this many times a few,
From the bottom of my heart I'd like to say thank you,
When things get rough or when days are blue,
I always think about us and the things we do,
just talking about things we knew or learning something new,
I cherish those moments in my heart as they stick like glue,
for one second just trying to believe it was all true,
because if it wasn't my heart would have been torn into two,
and nothing could mend it back together but you,
Someday these walls that's surrounding us we shall break through,
and find solace in each other's shoulders and worldly view,
because all I ever wanted was, you

There's so much left to say and write,             

somehow yet my heart feels so heavy and tight,
like begging to be heard of all my sadness and plight,
but then I look around me, there's no one in sight,
just me and my broken soul calmingly saying "it'll be alright'
these voices in my head and sadness I'll have to fight,
because what you're doing to me, it isn't fair, it isn't right,
you say you don't see our future's bright light,
yet you still hold on to me so tight,
although I long with my deepest being to be with you and watch the sun rise,
creating a home for us to adore, grow and harmonise,
since you're always full of suprise,

My dear, take your time,
but not too long because time is like a precious dime,
a beautiful melody, a soothing ryhme,
for when it's lost, there's no turning back no matter how high you climb,
Realising that everything you did, meant nothing but a mime

As I write this I cant stop my cry, it's very hard, but, I will try,
to make my time on Earth be something special,
despite these deep ache and the sadness so evil,
until I find something for me, something real,
scavenging this life with all that it brings and never settle,
fighting against all odds and life's very own battle





I will miss us, Love you.

By Jessica John Posko ❤️