Poetry: Getting By

                                                     

                                                                     Getting By

It's that time now in life,
The feeling of fleeing the nicely built hive,
Tired of listening to people's jive,
Scrolling pictures on the gram seeing your friends with wives,
While you're here still wide awake at five,
Thinking, you finally need to learn how to dive, 

Baby girl, you're just trying to survive, 

As another day another year arrives,

What are feelings anyway,
Is it something that gets you through the day,
Or is it just a price we had to pay,
Since I couldn't think and I couldn't say,
How much it hurts through every passing day, 

Why would you want hurt anyone this way, 

Do you think this is fun or just a child's play,
Playing innocent hearts in your hand as if it was okay, Life's already hard as it may,

All I want is nothing more,
Than your love and embrace to shower and pour,
And see you walking right through my door,
If I could just feel that again once more,
I would die happy for sure,
You were sweet to my heart's core,
But it's the time you gave me which I truly adored,
Something far precious and more than I could hope for,
In those times was where our memories soar,
High above the skies, in my dreams I bore,

I died a little bit inside,
When you left me that mellow night,

I laid in bed in tears trying to make sense of what's right,
What we could have been or if fate might,
These feelings I'm struggling to hide,
Away from reality just to get by another night,
I'm barely pulling through these sheets so tight,
Why oh why is this a so hard to fight,
Wish I could go far away from this mountain of sorrow's deep height,
And put an end to all my hopeless plight,
Just to wake up someday feeling alright,

Driving away in my car with you slowly leaving my sight,

Hate is a big word I refuse to use,
On you or anything that gives the blues,
You used to be my favourite muse,
But you left me dazed and confused,
Leaving me behind with my thoughts broken loose,
From these fetters of anger, frustration and woes,
That have been so long hidden beneath the same old shoes,
I've been walking in searching for answers and clues,
Of what love is and what it can do

If you loved me, why'd you leave me?
Amongst these broken promises sad plea,
Take my body, take my body,
If that's all that you want then just take it from me,
All I ever wanted was for us to be,
Surrounded with nothing but our love as the foundation, the key,
But its my fault that I didn't know love comes with a fee,
It's true what they say, maybe I was blind, because you are all I see.

I smiled a little the other day wasn't much but its still progress,
It's hard to smile these days or get a good night's rest,
My heart is aching and my brain is a mess,
Your shadow it hunts me, your soul had bred its nest,
You have no idea how it feels trying to break free from the chains of past,
I have to stay away from you, it's just for the best,

They say to seek God, But where was He when I lost this battle I fought,
When I was torn and wasted He was the one I sought
It isn't right to close him away when He's the only one I've got,
When I was at the lowest and lost hope I thought,
A light shined through the path where I walked,
Whispering that one day these tears I shed will heal the river of draught

By Jessica John Posko ❤️