Poetry: Drowning

                             Poetry: Drowning

Not enough,
Despite the love I showered you,
The trust that you had threw,
and the agony you put me through,
you will always stick to my mind like glue,
When the sun rises bringing a day's new,
and as the waves hit the shore from the oceans' blue,
into your darkness I shall not pursue,
For your vile and devilish intents I wish I knew,
Was it me or was it you,
Who played games when all we wanted was the truth,

I felt sad just waking up this morning, 

Had a bad dream last night, 

Hope you're okay, 

Although in my heart I longed for you, 

To hold me right next to you,

Bringing your arms around my shoulders, 

But that's just silly of me, 

I know you had long forgotten me, 

Given all these months, 

Why would I ever cross your mind, right, 

I'm just another girl to you anyways, 

I wish I was as strong as you, 

God, make these tears stop, 

Everything around me feels so tight, 

I could hardly breath, 

As if I'm drowning in the hopeless sea, 

Heart's getting heavier every burning minute, 

Sometimes I wonder if I could ever go through another day, 

If only I could make it out of this bed, 

Closed my eyes hoping to erase you out, 

Out from my skin, out from my memories, 

Trying to stitch up my broken soul on my own, 

My shadow's screaming to be free of these chains, 

                        Am I not worthy of love my dear,
Gave you more than I should,

Why did you have to say such hurtful words, 

Because now all that plays through my mind, 

Was what you've said

And how you left me, 

I wish I had no emotions, no feelings, 

Wouldn't it be easier that way, 

Please Lord, take my life away, 

If that's what it takes to make this pain disappear, 

I can't bare another day of loneliness and worthlesness, 

                                                                                    Everyone thinks I'm okay, 

Mom even thought I was too happy out with friends, 

And dad's hoping I'd get married soon, 

My friends think I'm seeing someone, 

"Always looking pretty and dressed up",

That's what they say, 

But no one hears this heart that's screaming loud, 

In silence, 

I'm good at hiding them, always had been, 

Sometimes I'm amazed at how I pretend everything was okay, 

It's hard describing it, 

It is as if I'm eating my heart out, 

Spitting out blood and flesh, 

Don't need anyone to save me, 

Just needed to know that I was worthy of love, 

That's all

By Jessica John Posko💗