Caring for others brings intrinsic rewards
By Jessica John Posko, Volunteer
Taking care of someone, especially when he is at his utmost vulnerable, can be incredibly draining yet extremely rewarding.
This is the case for the Singapore Red Cross’ ElderAid volunteer Mdm Roziah Salim, 50, who befriends the elderly in her Tampines neighbourhood, and provides psychosocial support to them, all whilst holding down a full-time job in customer service.
Mr Jaafar Yusof, 79, and his wife, Mdm Bibi Jan, 67, are two elderly beneficiaries whom Mdm Roziah cares for. Residing a few blocks away from Mdm Roziah’s residence, their cosy one-room studio flat accommodates only their daily necessities and is well tidied by homemaker Mdm Bibi.
Born on 1 November 1941 to a Sarawakian Chinese father and a mother of Boyan descent, Mr Jaafar grew up in a small town in Tanjong Katong and attended primary school at Telok Kurau. The adolescent Mr Jaafar often cycled to Kampong Melaka, a small village where Mdm Bibi stayed, to see her. Bashfully, Mdm Bibi said that she fell in love with Mr Jaafar as he resembled Bollywood actor Dev Anand. In 1969, when Mdm Bibi turned 16, she tied the knot with then 28-year-old Mr Jaafar, at a mosque in Kampong Kapur.
Mdm Bibi worked at the former Paya Lebar airport for four years, during which she gave birth to three daughters. In 1981, Changi Airport replaced Paya Lebar Airport as Singapore's new international airport, and Mdm Bibi moved on to work in the catering service line. A year later, the couple was gifted with their fourth daughter, and Mdm Bibi gave up her job to become a full-time homemaker.
For nearly 28 years, Jaafar supported his family, working at the Government’s Primary Production Department (now the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority of Singapore). Every day, he would take a boat to Pulau Ubin, where he was posted to. Unfortunately, the gruelling shifts took a toll on Mr Jaafar’s health, and a heart attack ended his career. Then the sole breadwinner, Mr Jaafar took up a contract job as a cleaner at the Bedok Stadium.
Tragedy struck again in 2014, when Mr Jaafar suffered a stroke, paralysing the left side of his body since. Mr Jaafar endures a permanent urinary catheter, which requires a change once a month. He also relies on a wheelchair to ambulate in his activities of daily living.
Today, he attends weekly physiotherapy sessions, and he sees improvement especially in his spine posture. Mr Jaafar perseveres through the hour-long therapy sessions that “can be brutal and painful” in order to get better, to care for his wife, who has been his sole caregiver.
Despite having diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and cardiac issues, Madam Bibi manages the daily household marketing, in addition to cooking and cleaning. While she occasionally finds it stressful to do everything alone at this age, Mdm Bibi holds on to the hope that her husband’s condition is positively progressing. However, the uncertainty and concerns about Mr Jaafar’s caregiving, if anything untoward should happen to her, lingers on.
Though times have been hard for this elderly couple, Mr Jaafar still regards Mdm Bibi as the stellar support of the family. Five decades on, Mr Jaafar is still very much in love with Mdm Bibi’s kindness, humour and honesty.
They express their fondness for Mdm Roziah, who has brought them the priceless gift of joy and friendship through her regular visits and phone calls to them. The couple is grateful for the company of Mdm Roziah, with whom they share their wishes, concerns and worries.
They may have known her from the Singapore Red Cross’ ElderAid service, but over the course of two years, Mdm Roziah has become an intrinsic part of their family.
Mdm Roziah continues to lend her support throughout the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Working with the elderly such as Mr Jaafar and Madam Bibi has opened a new perspective in Mdm Roziah’s outlook of life.
“I encourage everyone to make a difference in someone else’s life. It can be as simple as lending a listening ear, or showing care to seniors who live alone,” said Mdm Roziah.
View the original article:
Singapore Red Cross website: https://redcross.sg/news-stories/stories/915-caring-for-others-brings-intrinsic-rewards.html
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sgredcross/posts/3511613932230372
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